Finding the Still Waters and Clarity Within

When you start to feel lost or unsure of something, you are probably moving too fast. Toxic business occurs when you are doing too much and not spending enough time in stillness connecting with yourself and can impact every corner of your life, given enough time. It’s also usually a sign that you are trying to compensate for something, unfulfilled needs, by filling a void somewhere else in your life. Have you become too busy? Taken on too much? Have trouble telling others no? Overextended? How often do you just sit in stillness? How often do you allow the silent gaps of consciousness to just be? Western culture especially has trouble remembering that we are human beings, not human doings. We require that stillness, moments of not doing anything and just “being” in order to be balanced and healthy. Mind, body, and spirit alike. If you are seeking an answer, struggling with a decision, feeling like you don’t know where you belong or what you should be doing, any type of confusion in which you have been struggling with, all you have to do is slow down and reconnect with yourself. Just sit in silent stillness and reconnect with your innate divine, inner wisdom that we are all born with and even ask for guidance from a higher power. If you sit still long enough, the chaos will eventually settle on its own and you won’t even have to do anything to help it happen.

There is a story about Buddha and Ananda that teaches this lesson. They were walking in the forest one day and Buddha was very thirsty, so he sent his disciple back to a stream that they had passed 3 or 4 miles back to fetch him some water to drink. But when Ananda arrived at the stream, he had found that the stream had become muddy from some bullock carts that had just passed through it. He returned to tell Buddha that the water was not fit for drinking, so he would go ahead to another river that was 3 or 4 miles further and bring Buddha some water to drink from there. But Buddha insisted that Ananda go back to the muddy stream and wait to get him the water. Completely confused and thinking it was absurd to waste both the time and energy walking back 3 to 4 miles to the first stream, as well as 3 or 4 miles back to Buddha once again when he knew the water was too muddy to drink, he nonetheless followed his master’s directions. As Ananda left again, Buddha added “And don’t come back if the water is still dirty. Just sit by the edge of the stream and wait there.” Now Ananda grew angry because he felt his master was being unreasonable when the water would clearly not be fit for drinking and he could go fetch clean water at the river, but the disciple still obeyed Buddha and went back to the first stream.

When Ananda returned to the stream the water was still muddy just as he expected, which only frustrated him more, but as Buddha had instructed him, he sat by the edge of the water and waited. As he did, he noticed after some time had passed that the water began to get clearer as the mud and debris that had been kicked up from the bullock carts started to settle to the bottom of the stream again. After enough time had passed, it was completely clear again and suitable to take back to Buddha to drink. When Ananda returned he was now filled with deep gratitude instead of resentment, anger, and frustration. He thanked Buddha emphatically and told his master “Now I understand why you insisted I go back to the first stream even though the water was muddy. You were trying to teach me a lesson.. First I was angry; I didn’t show it, but I was angry because I thought it was absurd to go back when I knew that the water was too muddy to drink. But now I understand what you were trying to teach me and it what I actually needed in that moment. You were showing me that the same is the case with my mind. Sitting on the bank of that small stream, I became aware that the same is the case with my mind because if I jump into the stream I will make it dirty again. If I jump into my mind, more noise is created, more problems start coming up, surfacing just like the mud and debris in the water at the stream. Instead of kicking up the mud in my mind, it is wiser to be sitting by the side of my mind, too, watching it with all its dirtiness and problems and old leaves and hurts and wounds, memories, desires…but as an observer who just watches at the side in awareness, not getting upset or entangled in the debris, which only makes the mind muddier by kicking up more distressing feelings- stirring up more anger, sadness, fear, or worries, which are the mud and debris of the mind. Unconcerned, as a passive observer who needs to do nothing, I will simply sit on the bank and wait for the moment when everything is clear.”

There are two lessons in this story. First, the eternal truth of impermanence in everything because just as the good times never seem to last long enough and always come to an end, so too must the bad times eventually come to an end. With this inevitable cycle of change, we must learn to practice acceptance with ease, flowing like water. Water is stronger than rock because it remains flexible enough to move freely and continues to flow effortlessly, wearing away the surfaces of rocks. Our acceptance can do the same with our problems, which are really just a perception to begin with in reality. How we narrate things to ourselves makes a big difference in how we feel about them and react to them. Second, the reason this settling, clearing, and resolution happen naturally without your effort is because the moment you sit on the bank of your mind in stillness and silence, you are no longer giving energy to that problem or source. Since whatever is given energy, grows, it is also true that that which is denied energy will wither.

This is what mindfulness and meditation are about- teaching us this very lesson. Mindfulness is about practicing each day to become a master in the art of stillness, silence, finding gaps between your thoughts, between your breaths, noticing and watching without judgement or attachment in a complete state of awareness. It allows us to float on top of glassy still waters within no matter what chaos swirls around us rather than getting thrashed in the waves that have the power to pound us down and drown us… if we let them. Therefore, mindfulness is escaping such perils, it’s freedom, and it’s complete transcendence beyond everything- time, noise, confusion, anger, pain, stress- everything. Transcendence.

Sometimes we search madly for answers looking everywhere but within when,in fact, we all have everything we will ever need already, all within us. We always have. Like Glinda told Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power […],” and so do you. One of the most brilliant minds is psychology, Carl Jung, said that “your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.” Unfortunately, we do not do this all the time and sometimes are subconsciously or even consciously avoiding it because we are trying to escape the emotions we will find that make us feel uncomfortable. But the only way out is through and experiencing the negative is just as important to our journey and gaining wisdom as experiencing pleasure. Humans naturally chase pleasure and escape pain altogether, but it’s an impossible task. And in the end, it is actually our refusal to accept this and sit with the negative experiences in acceptance that causes the majority of our own suffering. Instead of fighting what already is and cannot be altered, a struggle that changes nothing other than our own emotional experience in the process, we can choose to gently detach from our tendency toward trying to control everything to be the way we want it in an ongoing effort to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs in search of eternal pleasure and happiness 100% of the time as an unchanging constant, which is impossible and only drives us crazy and makes us miserable every time we encounter something we didn’t want. It is when we mindfully let go and just release that need for control that we actually find all the answers we’ve been seeking and discover the peace within. This is actually the true path to our own happiness and avoiding the majority of our pain ironically- the symbolic yellow brick road to what we are searching for and has been right here silently waiting within us all along.

It is essential to spend time in stillness. In fact, it’s been well-researched and we know that it’s good for our health, mind, emotions, spirit…and yet so many of us are not making time for the important aspect of good self-care. You can make the decision starting today to make time for meditation and prayer every day. Are you thinking that you just don’t have enough time? This is the most common excuse people list for not meditating or finding time for stillness. Many times, people think they are too busy to take the time for something like this, but in reality those are the people who need it the most and will benefit from it the most! Plus, when you do take this time to be still and meditate, to reconnect with yourself, rejuvenate, and recenter, you consequentially become calmer, have more clarity, become more focused, and have more energy, which because of these things allows you to become more effective and productive in all the other corners of your life. Thus, your time will not be reduced by meditating each day, but will actually seem to expand, grow, and open up more and more each day as you continue to practice.

When you are not in silent meditation, you can still remain mindful in all you do, turning your entire day, your entire life in essence, into one big meditation and state of clarity, calmness, flow, and awareness. If you do something, do it mindfully, being completely focused on whatever experience or task you are engaged in, focusing on the more minute aspects of the experience with all of your senses, and remain in the present moment in a heightened state of awareness. This can turn something as mundane as washing the dishes into a relaxing, mindful experience that benefits your body, mind, and spirit rather than feeling like another dreadful chore on your endless list of things you need to do. But each day, take the time to reconnect with your true self in quiet stillness and find your inner peace and wisdom by sitting at the side of your mind and simply waiting. Find the gap in stillness where you become more aware of the vibrations of energy and your inner guide.

The answers you need always lie within and so does your power. You don’t need to look outward or need anyone’s help- you just need to find your own strength and wisdom that each one of us was born with and then tap into it. Simply be quiet enough on a regular basis to listen for and hear that guiding voice of divine light and intuition. And may you (yes- you!) and your life overflow with love, light, healing energy, and abundant blessings.