Knowing when it’s time to let go…

Sometimes it’s really hard to let go of people you have loved for a long time. It feels like you are losing a part of yourself…if you love them a lot, it can feel like someone is reaching inside of your body, grabbing a handful, and ripping it out. That person might have been such a major part of your life that it almost helped define who you are, a piece of your identity…it would feel wrong not to have it in your life anymore. But sometimes we must let go…we must be willing to empty our hands so that they are free to accept something even better that God has waiting for us.

But how do you know when it’s time to let go? Well, first, if you are asking yourself this question, it’s probably time. Do you have strong personal boundaries? No one should be unkind or disrespectful to you, emotionally, sexually, or physically abuse you, or try to intimidate you with the threat of such things. Now, everyone makes mistakes, but you have to look for patterns. And if there is a pattern of mistreating you, you must accept that it’s time to let that person go no matter how hard or how painful it is. You deserve to be loved, appreciated, respected, and treated with kindness. And if you won’t respect yourself enough to draw AND maintain those boundaries, then no one else will either. We teach people how to treat us. We teach them with our actions, not our words. Words mean nothing if it isn’t followed up with action. The other thing you must realize is that if you maintain abusive relationships with ANYONE, you will never get healthy yourself. You will not be able to heal your self-esteem, learn to assert yourself in healthy ways, end your legacy of co-dependence, gain higher levels of differentiation, and worst of all, if you cannot do any of those things you will never be able to attract healthy relationships going forward in life. You will continue to find relationships that are unfulfilling and unhealthy. You have to decide when the price is just too high to keep allowing someone like that in your life.

You are worth more than you even realize and you deserve all the good things that are waiting for you if you will just trust that if you step into your fear and pain, God/the universe will take care of the rest. There are BLESSINGS just waiting for you! Open your hands to receive them! And start learning to love yourself enough to demand people treat you right. As Joseph Addison said, “Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses, and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.”